*If anyone is considering taking these mushrooms I highly recommend doing extensive research, appointing a trusted friend as a sitter and do not underestimate the power of these mushrooms (THEY ARE NOT LIKE PSILOCYBIN), like I did. They are not to be taken for fun and must be treated with the utmost respect. What I experienced the first time I took these mushrooms, was both incredibly amazing and utterly horrifying and life threatening so be prepared for one hell of a ride.*
After experiencing the incredible psychoactive effects of the Amanita Muscaria, I was curious to try this again and really utilise the benefits of this tool. This time, I would be prepared for the loss of motor control and perhaps all sense of reality. This would allow me to make better use of the beginning and ending stages of the trip. Once the effects had worn off from the first trip, I noticed a small change in my general mentality and thought patterns, but due to the after trip being thrown into survival mode and not being able to properly digest the experience I believe some of the beneficial digestion of the experience did not happen. I was left feeling there was more to the long term effects of this mushroom.
It was exactly 10 days after my first time, this time I picked about 10 caps although they were a little smaller than the first batch. Being in the middle of the bush with no electricity, and without a friend going into town this time, back to electricity and a fan oven, I decided to attempt to dry them out over a fire. I started at 1pm the whole process was a learning curve in itself and was finished by 11pm, 10 hours! Next time I am sure it would not take so long although I will more than likely be within range of an oven. One part of why it took so long was I had to be sure that the caps where thoroughly dried out. They dried down to 15 grams, I unfortunately lost all the stems however I am told most of the good stuff is in the caps although not sure on this.
This journey was also going to be a solo one, I am very grateful for the pre trip preporations I made. I set up my tent to be tripper friendly and was at the same spot as last time. I knew what this mushroom could do and was not going to be caught in the same situation as last time. I also brought my notepad with me and wrote a trip report.
I set aside a whole day, and begun at about 11am. Again I started with a small opening ceremoney with insencese, a candle and paulo santo. I quickly consumed half of the 15 grams and this time the nausea was much stronger and I felt that if I continued to eat I would for sure throw up. (I think what I ate and did the day before had an impact on this but I am not sure).
Only after about 45 minutes I noticed increased creativity, having the 1st trip, I was ready for the effects and instead of zooming around like before, this time I channelled my energy into creative ends and very quickly, perhaps 15-20 minutes wrote a 2 minute conscious rap which I am very happy with. I again felt as if I was using more of my brain, but this time I was actually using my brain.
Getting quite excited by this point from starting to discover more about what this mushroom can do, I was eagerly anticipating what the day would bring for me. I decided to go for a walk to grab my phone and record my freestyle, by the time I walked the 20 minute walk I had got my blood flowing and was hit by a stronger wave of effects and begun to again notice slight loss of motor control. I then decided I did not need my phone and perhaps the walk was good just to get things moving again. This was around 1pm.
When I got back to my tent I laid down and started to meditate. When I did this I noticed very clearly that there was a clear ‘battle’ over my thoughts with one being positive/supporting the other thought loops being negative/destructive. I had to very consciously fight for control over my mind, to be on the positive thought loops. Once I got a hold of my mind I begun to repeat random positive/supporting affirmations very quickly, I felt as if I had more connection to my subconscious and was deeply rewriting subconscious programming.
The deeper I got into the meditation, the more it felt as if I was leaving my body, or my consciousness was just above my body but still attached. I then decided to do some visualisations for clearing/energising my body. What was very interesting was how responsive my body was, wherever I would focus my attention I would feel my thoughts very strongly, something which I have only experienced in a similar way before when I have really focused my mind for long periods in meditation or Qi Gong. I wrote in my notepad how ‘the potential for healing with these mushrooms are absolutely incredible’.
I again went deeper and begun to have interesting revelations, one was that we do create our own reality, every second we are on the planet, with every thought/feeling/emotion but we are also all co-creating together. Something I already knew on the conscious level but this felt like I was tapping into a more embodied knowing. Another thought line I come across was that the best reality we can create when we die is that we experience another level of evolution. (Refer to the Ra Material, Tom Montalk’s Article on Densities/Dimensions). If we ‘qualify’ for such a reality anyway.
I then begun to think about what would be the best possible reality for humanity as a collective to experience. This lead me to a timeline reality split. (Refer to my article, work by Bernhard Guenther, Tom Montalk, Lisa Renee, Ra Material). Which is where the collective human experiences differs so much from the, shall we say, spiritually alive and the spiritually dead that reality has no choice but to split the timeline and create 2 earths in effect. I will not go into more detail on this huge topic here but encourage anyone interested to read the sources I have referenced.
What was interesting is I begun to feel the emotional pain that would come with having members of my close family not make it to the positive/spiritually-alive split and would succumb to suffering the apocalyptic fate of the spiritually dead. This was very intense, however I saw from a higher perspective that their suffering would be temporary and is a small price to pay in the grander universal spectrum of things and would allow for the not only the survival of the species but grant the possibilities of incredible evolution beyond what I can imagine. Instead of all of humanity falling into the abyss, the spiritually alive would go on.
So far this trip was showing to be astounding, although not transcendental. Perhaps this is what we can access when we use more of our minds. I also had the thought line that this mushroom is just a shortcut for meditation, seeing as meditating also seemed to increase the effects. Focusing the mind really is powerful.
I then begun to think about what the best reality I could create for myself was, and this was interesting because the first things I thought about where, a big beautiful house with a beautiful view, with a beautiful sexy woman and I had lots of money. I was completely immersed in this material fantasy for 10-15 minutes until I snapped out of it and realised this is not what I truly want. What I was just creating from was the matrix conditioning and programming, stemming from a lifetime of conditioning and instinctual drives. I also had the embodied experience of how people can become completely absorbed by this line of thinking, and unless it is questioned people would assume it to be their own mind/thoughts/desires. This is actual reality for millions and millions of people on this planet. I mention this not to judge, but to understand and accept.
I then switched to a much more harmonious and positive reality creation for myself and actually channelled a life path which would cover all the mechanical matrix actions I would need to take to manifest the life of my dreams and not the matrix’s dreams. A reality that also would greatly benefit the evolution of consciousness, I wrote at the end of this section that the divine’s plan is to evolve consciousness and this plan is alignment with that. This plan only covers the basic mechanical actions, without any of the beautiful divine synchronistic play that comes from living in the divine. Exciting stuff indeed.
It was now about 2pm and I had my first urination. I knew the procedure and quickly gulped down half. I then had a quick swim in the nearby stream and had a strong message to go for it and drink the rest, down it went! Salty! I went for another short walk and begun to really notice loss of motor control, walking became difficult I went back to my tent and found writing was also becoming harder.
The trip become deeper by this stage and I laid down to meditate again, I was going into some of the pain felt throughout my body, I then was approaching this pain from a place of no fear, no aversion, objectivity and love. When I did this and focused my mind, I noticed my pain would decrease. I also wrote in my notepad how we are all connected and when you experience for example, love, you experience it for all of humanity, the same for pain. What I was finding interesting about pain is that the fear of pain is actually far greater than the actual pain itself. And so much fear of pain comes from a fear of dying!
So when you are going through pain from a loving place, you are making it easier for humanity to evolve by adding to the collective consciousness that we are all immersed in, that pain is nothing to fear. This lessens the load for humanity in total and would have affects on unseen levels and ripples throughout human consciousness.
I also begun to see/understand how there is a war on consciousness/thinking/thoughts/emotions. That the dark seems to have more on an influencing power at the moment, due to the true spiritual dark age that humanity has been going through, which I think ties into many factors, but one prominent one being the precession of the equinox where earth revolves around the galaxy.
I saw how there are 3 places thoughts come from: You, Positivity or The Divine and Negativity or The Matrix. The darkness has more influencing power at the moment, although this could change if more people tune into the divine. Perhaps that’s what many cultures around the world intuitively picked up upon that this time in our history is when there is potential for a great shift. How exactly this takes place is open for speculation but wherever you look, the indicators are there. What is the best possible reality you can think of for humanity to experience?
Continuing this I begun to see how when someone on your path projects their pain/suffering onto you, you, if possible and capable are to alchemically transform their pain into love. Which is easier to do if you come from a place of deep love and truly love yourself. This is vast in itself as requires practice/discernment to see if it is worth your time to invest in trying to transform someone’s negativity into positivity. Ensuring you have vast love for yourself and your reality is always a good anchor point and if you cannot physically/mentally do something for someone, the least you can do is project love onto him or her and then walk away from any draining situation. Your personal vibration is where you ultimately make the most difference, but as a side project you can help alleviate/lessen the suffering of others with this practice. Remember when you do this; you do it for all of humanity. Having positive reality creation affects all of humanity on unseen levels and ties into the bringers of the dawn book’s concept of people making a difference just by being here! That doesn’t mean we just sit there and think positive thoughts, we have to play our part in this reality, physically as well as spiritually.
The trip begun to magnify in levels and writing became harder.
I began to come across thought lines like:
1. When you properly meditate, you die?
2. Enlightenment is death?
3. Feels as if this mushroom is a tool to leave the body
4. When you die you collectively experience the human collective human consciousness
5. Most people die from heart attack/disease did I have to experience that? (Related to my first trip where I died from this)
6. If was to experience reality as a lucid dream will have to have incredibly clear thoughts
7. Love is the ultimate key to transcend the matrix, Love Love Love
8. Thoughts have real affects on people, I am experiencing all of the negative thoughts/feelings/emotions that humanity experiences
9. Breathe all the time
10. Breathe Love into your heart
11. Have sex with Love
Then, I really thought I was going to have to die, but this time I would be conscious of this. I wrote on my notepad that ‘Enlightenment is death, I love you all’. I thought I would have to die to help humanity, and I was totally ready to die for you all. The idea being is that I would experience the pain from dying from a place of love and lessen the collective pain/fear humanity has of death.
Then I begun to get into Tantra, which is interesting because other than this talk I have very little knowledge on this subject. I then wrote about how supposedly the most pleasurable experience that is available to man is to orgasm whilst practicing Tantra, breathing into the woman you Love. This combines mind, heart and sexuality and that, that is enlightenment?
I also come to the knowledge than when one of your 3 dantiens runs out of chi (Life force energy) you die. That being crucified is possibly the most painful/brutal way to die because it cuts of chi for all 3 centres, whilst people die usually from only 1 centre being cut off. (This may also apply for chakra)
The last thoughtlines I write are:
1. Create Love through yourself
2. The most power is to love yourself
3. Every time you masturbate over porn you feed the Matrix Control System
4. To die on a cross is the opposite of a Tantra orgasm into the woman you love
5. I have to die for Jesus.
Thinking I now have to die for humanity, this is the last thing I write:
What happened after that could only be described as experiencing the pain of dying, over and over again. I think I died about 10-15 times and was experiencing the pain of dying through each chakras but every time I would approach the pain from a meditative loving state which lessened the effects of dying and the total pain. I am not sure if I was experiencing past life deaths, or pulling from the collective pain of humanity. My whole body would flail around as if I was actually dying but would relax as soon as I held my focus on Love and non aversion.
I am not sure how long I continued this for, but It seemed to switch to darkness very fast and before I knew it, it was dark and I decided to return home which was much easier this time with the light of the moon. I got back at around 9:30pm and had some good food and then proceeded to be nicely warm and tucked up into bed. Much better ending than the last time!
An interesting side note
About 2 weeks before this experience I was in a very long meditation and focused on pain in my body, after intense focus I begun to thrash around my body and experienced some form of release which ended in seeing black flashing in my vision and arching my back and I was sort of screaming with no noise coming out. I was not sure what I experienced but I felt very good after this with much energy. As If I had cleared something.
This was the same experience I had at the peak of my dying experience whilst on mushrooms, the connection I am still not exactly sure on, but ties into my previous thought of how these mushrooms are a shortcut for meditation.
This mushroom is an amazing teacher if used correctly, I cannot overstate the potential for humanity within this fungi. Perhaps within these beautiful objects there is the next step in our evolution, who knows. I am now writing this 3 days after this trip and I feel as if I have really deeply reprogrammed myself, as well as clearing some serious wounding/pain. Having a much better beginning and ending there was little or no recovery needed. These past days have been glorious, I am curious to see how the long term effects play out. I said to a friend how I felt as if I had shifted timelines slightly and was now in a more positive realm, will see what manifests.
8 Days later, at the time of publishing, I have approximately 40 grams from 2 new dried batches. I am still digesting this experience and finding ways to implement what I learned into my daily life, with interesting results. I will give myself a more of a rest and will dive into the depths of what this mushroom can do again in the future and report my findings.
Respect for Soma